Note to My Past Self: First-Gen Edition

WRITTEN BY EMILY VO

ILLUSTRATED BY ANDREA ARMENDI

The first moment that made me feel that I didn’t belong in college was when I was having dinner with my roommates. As we were getting to know each other, conversations about our families naturally came up. Everyone started talking about their parents’ alum schools and their jobs. When I said that my parents didn’t go to college, a silence followed, and I was brushed past without any follow-up questions or comments. Looking back, I could’ve misinterpreted that situation, and it was truly just in my head. However, as a first-year student who was trying to fit in, I felt so judged and uncomfortable in that silence.

It wasn’t until I became a Peer Coach for the UC San Diego Student Success Coaching Program my senior year that I really felt in tune with my first-generation identity. Though it was shameful for me to share then, I won’t stop yapping about it now. While that journey wasn’t smooth and I had plenty of breakdowns regarding imposter syndrome, burnout, and guilt, I found pride in my identity as I worked with first-generation underclassmen as a Peer Coach. It has been extremely fulfilling to watch them grow into success throughout the academic year.

Within my role as a Peer Coach, I’ve shared my experiences with underclassmen and offered advice to support their journey, giving me the opportunity to reflect on my experiences. If I could talk to Emily four years ago, here is what I would have to say…

ONE: College is more than the grades that you earn.

This is probably a no-brainer to some of you, but I experienced a strong self-imposed pressure to work hard. For me, that equated to receiving good grades. Especially as a first-generation student, I felt guilty for having fun and not working hard all the time. It was a privilege going to college, and it would be wasteful to relax or socialize when I could be dedicating that time to studying or working.

So I put grades as my highest priority, even above my mental health and social well-being. I vividly remember an instance where I was stressed over my Saturday morning Organic Chemistry midterm, causing me to miss out on social events like my Big Little Reveal for the UC San Diego Dragon Boat team. This was just one case of many where I prioritized my academic success over everything else. However, I have realized that this unsustainable lifestyle deprived me of the college experience. Balance is important to living a more healthy and well-rounded life, and I have since shifted my focus to include self-care and interpersonal relationships.

TWO:  Get involved!

It is easy to feel alone, especially in a big institution like UC San Diego. However, I managed to find my community through clubs on campus. I became involved in multiple organizations, some that aligned with my career, some that were more social-orientated and revolved around hobbies that I enjoyed. Through these clubs, I cultivated relationships with fellow motivated peers, mentors, and people I call my close friends.

Beyond building community, I was also able to gain soft skills by joining various organizations. I honed my leadership skills by holding officer positions. I met new people and learned more about myself in turn. Eventually, I came to realize that it’s the people you meet during your time here that matter more than just the coursework. Yes, you are in college to learn, but there are things you can’t pick up within the classroom.

THREE: Learn more about UC San Diego and all it has to offer! This is a big institution with a plethora of resources, so it is easy to get overwhelmed and not utilize them at all.

Did you know that there are multiple community resource centers on campus? You can utilize this space to relax or study. These centers also host multiple events throughout the year!

Did you know that you can get free student tickets for ArtPower performances?

Whether you are into cultural dances, classical music, jazz, or movies, there is

something for everyone.

Did you know that the Design and Innovation Building has something called UCSD
Makerspace?

As a student, you have free access to embroidery machines, 3D printers, and more.

FOUR: Live in the moment.

I was so focused on what my life would be like in the future that I did not allow myself to enjoy my life as a student. I kept worrying about the future and what it would hold. Living in the present is a mindset I had to learn.

Take advantage of the perks of being a student. This is the reason why I decided to study abroad in Spain in the summer of 2023. Even though I could have been working or participating in an internship during that summer, I reasoned that studying abroad was specific to an undergraduate student. When else would I have the opportunity to go to another country and take classes there? This has been one of my favorite experiences during my undergraduate career. I got to learn Spanish in a more immersive environment and apply it daily during the program period. I met people from all walks of life and got to explore cities that I had not heard of before being in the program.

It’s crazy to think how fast time flies during the past four years. It seems like it was just yesterday when my family flew down to San Diego and helped me move into my freshman dorm. The sound of my luggage echoing within the concrete walls of Sixth College still lingers in my head. Now, I can count the number of weeks I have left at UC San Diego on one hand.

I can’t say there is much I regret during my time here. Every experience was a learning lesson that I am grateful for. While I can’t really speak to past Emily, I can only hope that future Emily takes all she had learned from her undergraduate career and applies it to her post-graduate journey. There are so many resources within reach. You just gotta look and be willing to put yourself in uncomfortable situations to try them out. This could be failing a class, going to an event alone, or doing something you’ve never done before. So go explore for yourself and check it out!